I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
