We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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