fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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