I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
