You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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