He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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