I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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