Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Found your dick twin last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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