Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Panties = found
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize