Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
