is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
