Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
