so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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