her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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