nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
