We named our party play list daddy issues
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
