this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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