im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
