i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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