I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
