omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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