I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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