am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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