You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We need to get me chipped asap
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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