Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
