OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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