if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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