Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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