You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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