So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
