Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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