the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Never underestimate the power of titties
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
