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Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
