if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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