I could have mohawked her pubes.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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