If i come over, it means nothing
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
