cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
