If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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