I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
