It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
