...so i touched it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize