i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize