I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
