Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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