saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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