i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize