Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
