so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
