I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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