that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
