I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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