Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am available for nakedness
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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