i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
