It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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