Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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