They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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