(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
