It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
