oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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