no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
