trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
