Pappa wants mamma naked
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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