Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
