She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
