the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
