Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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