Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
